The day is almost here. Move-in day. Now for this question: am I ready? Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Have I packed? Yup! Well, I'm almost all packed. I just have some clothes left, but that's all. It's a nice feeling, not to be rushing the day before or the morning of. Relaxing and deep breaths are key right now.
It's been such a strange idea, moving again. It really shouldn't be, since this exact time the past four years has been the same thing: packing up and moving out of the house at the end of the Summer. I dormed all four years of college, so leaving home is not new, nor does it scare me or make me nervous. And I'm moving out only one week before I would be leaving to go back to school anyway, so it isn't any earlier than usual. However, this move is quite different than it has been these four years. For one, I'm not leaving to go back to school, so wrapping my head around the fact that I can no longer say my occupation is being a student is a little difficult to get used to. Second, I'm also moving out of state. Granted it's just from New York to Pennsylvania, one state away and only two hours from my parents, but still. The longest I've ever lived out of state was two years ago when I spent a Summer in Tennessee. This will be for one year, and who knows, possibly longer depending on where this year takes me. And third, I am moving into a monastery, which still boggles the minds of everyone I tell this to, and to be honest, it's a strange notion to me sometimes. And to hear myself say it aloud is surprising at times.
With just over 48 hours before I'll be moving in, all kinds of thoughts, nerves, and emotions are running EVERYWHERE! I'm excited, but nervous. Happy to be moving out of the house, but sad to leave my family. Ready to take this on, but finding myself ever wishing for one more day to be "more ready". I guess it's just this entire lifestyle change that I will be entering into. I am fairly familiar with it, but not entirely, and I am still asking myself, what am I doing?
I guess the bottom line is, I need to take a cue from Father Bucki at Canisius and just "RELAX", allow myself to just be me, and trust in God that this is the right thing for me at this time in my life, everything will be OK, and I will be just fine. I keep remembering what I said to my small group during Senior Retreat just before graduation: I have become really good in the last 2 years or so at putting myself in different, unsure, out there, and sometimes uncomfortable positions, and gaining so much from them in ways I never would have imagined. So bring it on. I am ready, and I know I will grow.
This week has been full of family dinners and chances to spend with my parents and brother. Last night we went to Joe's Crab Shack, a chain restaurant that recently opened its first New York State location just outside of Buffalo.
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| My bucket full of 1 1/4 lbs of steamed crab, potatoes and corn |
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| Yumm! |
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