As I look at my calendar, It's apparent that four weeks from tonight is our farewell dinner/blessing, which seems absolutely unbelievable to me because I was just told we had 7 weeks left...huh. Anyhoo, things are beginning to fall into place in regards to my life post-Benedicta Riepp.
Last night, Carrie and I signed our lease to our apartment here in Wesleyville, which makes all of that official. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty exciting. Each of us has been offered a position in the city, so a regular income will once again be seen. We're beginning to collect some furniture for our living room, but if anyone out there has a couch and/or love seat that just happen to be laying around let me know! All seems to be pretty well concerning the next phase of my life.
However, once again I face the challenge of living in the moment while planning for the future. It's more important now than it's ever been. Not an easy thing to do. But if I don't, then I'll be kicking myself when this is done, and there's no re-do. And July is jam-packed, too! Something going on almost every weekend. I know it will fly by, and before I know it I will be on my way back to New York. I was asked yesterday in a meeting how I feel. Well, I'm really sad. That's how I feel. I know I will only be moving a short distance away, and I will be over at least every Sunday. But I also know life will soon begin, and I'll have to work extra hard to make sure I make time for people. Living ten minutes away is just not the same as living right downstairs.
I'll try not to make my next month's worth of posts so drab and sappy. If it keeps heading that way, let me know! I'll do my best :)
Also, Happy Birthday to my mom, Julie!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Connections Part II
This past weekend we had the privilege of being invited to for dinner at one of the in town houses. We've had a few of these outings, and also drove a couple of hours away for a visit a few weeks ago. Each time we visit a group of sisters, it's always interesting and very enjoyable, especially since they don't live at the Mount and we only get to interact with them on special occasions.
Our visit last night was a lot of fun. Good food, good wine, and great conversation. Since we have just under 5 weeks left, a lot of the questions that come my way consist of asking how I feel about the short time I have left in the program, and how I feel about this year as a whole. What have I gotten out of it? How do I think I've impacted this community? Did it end up being a good idea? I can only answer so much right now, since it will take a few months to de-program and really look at my year. But I think it helps each side understand what this program can do for both the community and those that are participants. It's really a win-win situation.
I love when I can really connect with people. The sisters we visited pretty much ran the full gamut of our story from college to the present, and we learned a lot about them as well. A lot can fit in to 4 hours! I run into each of them often and exchange conversation here and there, but this is the first time we all were able to sit down and learn about each other. Too bad it took 10 months to do so! I always wish it could have been sooner. The best thing: we are only moving around the corner, so I hope that doesn't disqualify us from being able to do stuff like this every now and then, and maybe we can have you all over and cook for you to repay the favor :)
Our visit last night was a lot of fun. Good food, good wine, and great conversation. Since we have just under 5 weeks left, a lot of the questions that come my way consist of asking how I feel about the short time I have left in the program, and how I feel about this year as a whole. What have I gotten out of it? How do I think I've impacted this community? Did it end up being a good idea? I can only answer so much right now, since it will take a few months to de-program and really look at my year. But I think it helps each side understand what this program can do for both the community and those that are participants. It's really a win-win situation.
I love when I can really connect with people. The sisters we visited pretty much ran the full gamut of our story from college to the present, and we learned a lot about them as well. A lot can fit in to 4 hours! I run into each of them often and exchange conversation here and there, but this is the first time we all were able to sit down and learn about each other. Too bad it took 10 months to do so! I always wish it could have been sooner. The best thing: we are only moving around the corner, so I hope that doesn't disqualify us from being able to do stuff like this every now and then, and maybe we can have you all over and cook for you to repay the favor :)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Countdown
It's no secret that my time here at the Mount is nearing an end, at least when it comes to my residency, and the news is spreading like wildfire. At least we won't be moving far. Carrie and I found an apartment just about 5 miles from the monastery, so we'll still be neighbors!
But the countdown begins. Just 5 weeks from tonight, we will have our end-of-the-program-dinner-send off-blessing-whatever you'd like to call it, so brace yourselves, sisters, and world for that matter, too!
And how do I feel about all this? Sad, but excited at the same time. Sad because I cannot believe that this year has almost ended, that it's gone so fast. Sometimes I wish I could hold onto this forever. But I'm also excited because I will be starting something new, and making a life for myself in a new state, away from home, taking on all the responsibilities again of being an adult. It's a worried excitement, though, but I know I will be OK. I always am.
So here goes the last month of the program. May it be filled with many laughs, hugs, smiles, blessings, and wonderful memories. And may it go by slowwwwwwly...wishful thinking!!
And, uhhh, some shameless plugging for Relay for Life. Less than a month left to reach my goal! I relay for all those touched by cancer, for my family members, friends, and sisters who have battled or are still fighting. No amount is too small. Click the link below to donate online, or send me a message if you'd like information on how to send a check. Thank you for your support!
Relay for Life
But the countdown begins. Just 5 weeks from tonight, we will have our end-of-the-program-dinner-send off-blessing-whatever you'd like to call it, so brace yourselves, sisters, and world for that matter, too!
And how do I feel about all this? Sad, but excited at the same time. Sad because I cannot believe that this year has almost ended, that it's gone so fast. Sometimes I wish I could hold onto this forever. But I'm also excited because I will be starting something new, and making a life for myself in a new state, away from home, taking on all the responsibilities again of being an adult. It's a worried excitement, though, but I know I will be OK. I always am.
So here goes the last month of the program. May it be filled with many laughs, hugs, smiles, blessings, and wonderful memories. And may it go by slowwwwwwly...wishful thinking!!
And, uhhh, some shameless plugging for Relay for Life. Less than a month left to reach my goal! I relay for all those touched by cancer, for my family members, friends, and sisters who have battled or are still fighting. No amount is too small. Click the link below to donate online, or send me a message if you'd like information on how to send a check. Thank you for your support!
Relay for Life
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Community Retreat
Monday night began a 5-day community retreat here at the Mount. Silent, I might add. The presenter is a Benedictine sister from a community in Ferdinand, Indiana. Check it out! I had the privilege of meeting her back in October when she came for a week of meetings that were held here. She's awesome, by the way.
The retreat is entitled: "To Be a Benedictine...To Be Faithful...To Be a Blessing" A Spirituality of Cenobitic Living. A mouthful, yes. What I love about it? The topics are not over my head. You don't need to be a professed Benedictine Sister to relate to what is being discussed in the talks. It can be applied to pretty much anyone, anywhere. For me, it has been a wonderful way to wrap up my year spent in the Benedicta Riepp Program. With just 6 weeks left, the topics of talks have allowed me to reflect on how I've lived out that particular Benedictine value while I've been here, and think about how I will continue to reflect that when I leave.
And you read right: 6 weeks.
The retreat is entitled: "To Be a Benedictine...To Be Faithful...To Be a Blessing" A Spirituality of Cenobitic Living. A mouthful, yes. What I love about it? The topics are not over my head. You don't need to be a professed Benedictine Sister to relate to what is being discussed in the talks. It can be applied to pretty much anyone, anywhere. For me, it has been a wonderful way to wrap up my year spent in the Benedicta Riepp Program. With just 6 weeks left, the topics of talks have allowed me to reflect on how I've lived out that particular Benedictine value while I've been here, and think about how I will continue to reflect that when I leave.
And you read right: 6 weeks.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Rural Road Trip
This weekend we finally went on our trip that was about 9 months in the making. The two Rieppers, one mentor and our fearless leader set out Friday night for Oil City, PA to visit one of the sisters who lives there and does Catholic Rural Ministry. We also visited nearby Franklin, where another sister who was our scripture teacher for the first half of the year lives. We got the full tour of the areas and the lowdown on everything these sisters do.
In Oil City, the sisters are simply a presence in the area for anyone who should want or need it. It might not sound like much, but to some I'm sure it is everything. And the sister in this position is absolutely perfect for the job. I can see why she enjoys what she does. In Franklin, sister Claire is the Catholic Chaplin at a residential facility for individuals with varying degrees of mental and physical disabilities. We were able to tour a section of the facility, meet a couple of the residents, and hear about the wonderful work she does. She is also the perfect person for her ministry.
I had a great time. It was nice to get away and be introduced to another part of the work that the Benedictine Sisters of Erie do. I don't know how many people familiar with this community of women are aware that it exists because I didn't even know until I lived here, and there are two more sisters in another rural area of PA. It has expanded my knowledge and understanding of what these women do for the surrounding areas. I have more and more respect for this community every day.
Besides the introduction to another area of Benedictine ministry, I had a great time with everyone we visited and our travel group was quite interesting as well. Not a boring ride, that's for sure! Two sets of BFF's, radio up, some off-key singing from everyone, a few detours that were planned as well as unplanned, and you have yourself the perfect road trip! Well, at least for some of us out there...
In Oil City, the sisters are simply a presence in the area for anyone who should want or need it. It might not sound like much, but to some I'm sure it is everything. And the sister in this position is absolutely perfect for the job. I can see why she enjoys what she does. In Franklin, sister Claire is the Catholic Chaplin at a residential facility for individuals with varying degrees of mental and physical disabilities. We were able to tour a section of the facility, meet a couple of the residents, and hear about the wonderful work she does. She is also the perfect person for her ministry.
I had a great time. It was nice to get away and be introduced to another part of the work that the Benedictine Sisters of Erie do. I don't know how many people familiar with this community of women are aware that it exists because I didn't even know until I lived here, and there are two more sisters in another rural area of PA. It has expanded my knowledge and understanding of what these women do for the surrounding areas. I have more and more respect for this community every day.
Besides the introduction to another area of Benedictine ministry, I had a great time with everyone we visited and our travel group was quite interesting as well. Not a boring ride, that's for sure! Two sets of BFF's, radio up, some off-key singing from everyone, a few detours that were planned as well as unplanned, and you have yourself the perfect road trip! Well, at least for some of us out there...
 |
| Touring |
 |
| In a park in Franklin |
 |
| These are flowers made out of street signs. They're famous. I know this because I heard that five times... |
Thursday, June 7, 2012
A Different Path
Recently, a book on Jesus was introduced as part of my study and reflection time here and is discussed during meetings with my mentor each week. It's called "Images of Jesus" and introduces 50 images, one for each chapter. At the end of each image, three or four reflection questions are posed, and I usually journal my responses. They have pretty interesting names; Jesus the Jew, The Jesus who refuses to compete, The Jesus who refuses power. But one I read this week really struck me: Jesus the drop-out.
Why might you ask? Because I find it interesting that it coincides with a recent path I've decided to take myself. In this chapter, we learn how hard it was for Jesus' family to accept that God was the center of his life. In this setting, drop-out is referring to Jesus shifting his "family". He had to find others that shared his love for God and the work of God, and his way of going about that I guess didn't resonate well with some of his loved ones. The questions that got me thinking are as follows: What voices do you hear when you say something, when you make decisions? Are you ready to go the way that you recognize in your heart as being the right one for you? Or do you want everyone, your family and your friends, to approve of it?
This is why this chapter and these particular questions hit home for me: I will not be starting graduate school at the end of August.
I realize to the readers who know me personally this will sound like a decision that just came out of nowhere, but I promise you this was a well thought out conclusion. I made some decisions a little too prematurely, did not research enough different programs, and instead settled on a school that ended up not being what I was looking for. Thankfully, I have realized this in enough time to do something about it before it's too late.
What voices do I hear when I say something, when I make decisions? Well, the voice I had been hearing for a few months leading up to my final decision was saying "WHY are you doing this to yourself? Why are you trying to convince yourself that this is something you want?" After weeks of journaling and discussing this with myself, weighing the positives and negatives of this idea, I finally got up the courage to talk to someone about it. It was a little rough. The immediate reactions of almost everyone I had to tell were not what I expected. I felt how they probably did; blindsided. I was challenged, upset, and at times felt ganged up on. However, I do understand where they were all coming from.
That's where the other question comes in. Am I ready to go the way that I recognize in my heart as being the right one for me, or am I looking for everyone's approval? This is ultimately my own decision, nobody can make it but me, and nobody should make it but me. I haven't asked for anyone's approval or permission to make any life decision. I guess that can sound a little harsh. While I don't ask for or need someone to approve my decisions, I do ask for their support. Believe in me and have faith that I will be OK and that I'm doing the right thing for me at this time. Nobody has to understand the reasoning behind a personal decision but myself, but sometimes I feel like it would help.
There is a wonderful inner peace that has come with my decision not to rush into the program I pretty much rushed into in the first place. I do want to go to school, and if I could right away, I would. But this leaves me a little more time to research some more schools and programs that will ultimately work for me. I know what I want to do with my life, now I just need to find the right path that will get me there. Some may see me as a drop-out, as someone who is taking the easy way out, but they will never understand.
If my time as a Riepper has taught me anything, it is that your inner voice is one of the most important voices you should listen to. When I can't shake a feeling or thought, whether positive or negative, I've come to realize that's God's little way of telling me something. It happened when I was trying to ignore the nagging idea of entering this program last year, and it happened again with this. When it doesn't go away, maybe that's your answer.
So, I am not entering grad school when I leave the Mount. I am happy and at peace with this decision, and those important to me both at home and here really do support me. Thank you, I am blessed to have you all in my life.
Why might you ask? Because I find it interesting that it coincides with a recent path I've decided to take myself. In this chapter, we learn how hard it was for Jesus' family to accept that God was the center of his life. In this setting, drop-out is referring to Jesus shifting his "family". He had to find others that shared his love for God and the work of God, and his way of going about that I guess didn't resonate well with some of his loved ones. The questions that got me thinking are as follows: What voices do you hear when you say something, when you make decisions? Are you ready to go the way that you recognize in your heart as being the right one for you? Or do you want everyone, your family and your friends, to approve of it?
This is why this chapter and these particular questions hit home for me: I will not be starting graduate school at the end of August.
I realize to the readers who know me personally this will sound like a decision that just came out of nowhere, but I promise you this was a well thought out conclusion. I made some decisions a little too prematurely, did not research enough different programs, and instead settled on a school that ended up not being what I was looking for. Thankfully, I have realized this in enough time to do something about it before it's too late.
What voices do I hear when I say something, when I make decisions? Well, the voice I had been hearing for a few months leading up to my final decision was saying "WHY are you doing this to yourself? Why are you trying to convince yourself that this is something you want?" After weeks of journaling and discussing this with myself, weighing the positives and negatives of this idea, I finally got up the courage to talk to someone about it. It was a little rough. The immediate reactions of almost everyone I had to tell were not what I expected. I felt how they probably did; blindsided. I was challenged, upset, and at times felt ganged up on. However, I do understand where they were all coming from.
That's where the other question comes in. Am I ready to go the way that I recognize in my heart as being the right one for me, or am I looking for everyone's approval? This is ultimately my own decision, nobody can make it but me, and nobody should make it but me. I haven't asked for anyone's approval or permission to make any life decision. I guess that can sound a little harsh. While I don't ask for or need someone to approve my decisions, I do ask for their support. Believe in me and have faith that I will be OK and that I'm doing the right thing for me at this time. Nobody has to understand the reasoning behind a personal decision but myself, but sometimes I feel like it would help.
There is a wonderful inner peace that has come with my decision not to rush into the program I pretty much rushed into in the first place. I do want to go to school, and if I could right away, I would. But this leaves me a little more time to research some more schools and programs that will ultimately work for me. I know what I want to do with my life, now I just need to find the right path that will get me there. Some may see me as a drop-out, as someone who is taking the easy way out, but they will never understand.
If my time as a Riepper has taught me anything, it is that your inner voice is one of the most important voices you should listen to. When I can't shake a feeling or thought, whether positive or negative, I've come to realize that's God's little way of telling me something. It happened when I was trying to ignore the nagging idea of entering this program last year, and it happened again with this. When it doesn't go away, maybe that's your answer.
So, I am not entering grad school when I leave the Mount. I am happy and at peace with this decision, and those important to me both at home and here really do support me. Thank you, I am blessed to have you all in my life.
Monday, June 4, 2012
23 And Carefree
One of the lines that was heard coming out of my mouth about 2 months ago as I was in the middle of what felt like a complete mental breakdown went a little like this: "I just want to be a 23 year old!"
This could mean any number of things, I guess. I mean, it's no secret that, although we fit in wonderfully here at the Mount, 20-somethings don't frequent these halls. At least I have someone with me, but it's nice to throw someone new into the mix every now and then. Sometimes you just feel like doing something wild, like book a dirt cheap bus ticket to New York City on a whim at 11:30 on some random Tuesday night, which is precisely what happened. 8 weeks later, Carrie and I found ourselves embarking on a 13-hour road trip from Erie to Pittsburgh to NYC to Long Island to reunite with our college friend.
I guess it's wishful thinking that my carefree attitude when it comes to travel will never fade, but I still pray it doesn't. For some reason, landing in NYC at 12:30AM on some random corner in the Fashion District with our only smart phone dead isn't scary at all. It's called, "this way looks good, let's try it!" ADVENTURE! And viola! Penn Station! Then we buy our railroad ticket for a train that leaves in an hour, only to find out that if I took my phone off silent I could have bought a ticket for an earlier train. But wait! Hop on and see if this one will still work? BAM! Long Island Railroad! Arriving at Michelle's 40 minutes earlier than our ETA? I'd say that's success!
In all, this mini-vaca was a lot of fun. It made me realize how much I've really missed my other partner in crime, and how necessary it was for me to just...be. No bells, no set times for anything, just having fun and making up your own schedule. And having girl talk, of course. You know, cute guys, your personal problems, blah, blah, blah. The things only your best friends would know. And then there are those completely rational ideas, like making hair dyeing the first thing you do after not seeing each other since last June, and making brownies at 11:30pm when you have to leave for the city to catch the bus back home just a few hours later. Like I said, carefree. It applies to everything.
This may sound like such a jumbled mess of a thought process, but after a lot of praying, journaling, and talking out my breakdown with my mentor and fearless leader, I came to the conclusion that this was kind of needed. It wasn't a quick fix right as it was happening, but it gave me something exciting to plan and look forward to, which took the pressure off the stress I was feeling at that time and allowed me to look at what might have been contributing to all of that. Thank you to everyone for understanding that this break was needed, and for being excited and happy for us. I got to spend some much needed time with one of my best friends that I hadn't seen in a year. I had a blast!
This could mean any number of things, I guess. I mean, it's no secret that, although we fit in wonderfully here at the Mount, 20-somethings don't frequent these halls. At least I have someone with me, but it's nice to throw someone new into the mix every now and then. Sometimes you just feel like doing something wild, like book a dirt cheap bus ticket to New York City on a whim at 11:30 on some random Tuesday night, which is precisely what happened. 8 weeks later, Carrie and I found ourselves embarking on a 13-hour road trip from Erie to Pittsburgh to NYC to Long Island to reunite with our college friend.
I guess it's wishful thinking that my carefree attitude when it comes to travel will never fade, but I still pray it doesn't. For some reason, landing in NYC at 12:30AM on some random corner in the Fashion District with our only smart phone dead isn't scary at all. It's called, "this way looks good, let's try it!" ADVENTURE! And viola! Penn Station! Then we buy our railroad ticket for a train that leaves in an hour, only to find out that if I took my phone off silent I could have bought a ticket for an earlier train. But wait! Hop on and see if this one will still work? BAM! Long Island Railroad! Arriving at Michelle's 40 minutes earlier than our ETA? I'd say that's success!
In all, this mini-vaca was a lot of fun. It made me realize how much I've really missed my other partner in crime, and how necessary it was for me to just...be. No bells, no set times for anything, just having fun and making up your own schedule. And having girl talk, of course. You know, cute guys, your personal problems, blah, blah, blah. The things only your best friends would know. And then there are those completely rational ideas, like making hair dyeing the first thing you do after not seeing each other since last June, and making brownies at 11:30pm when you have to leave for the city to catch the bus back home just a few hours later. Like I said, carefree. It applies to everything.
This may sound like such a jumbled mess of a thought process, but after a lot of praying, journaling, and talking out my breakdown with my mentor and fearless leader, I came to the conclusion that this was kind of needed. It wasn't a quick fix right as it was happening, but it gave me something exciting to plan and look forward to, which took the pressure off the stress I was feeling at that time and allowed me to look at what might have been contributing to all of that. Thank you to everyone for understanding that this break was needed, and for being excited and happy for us. I got to spend some much needed time with one of my best friends that I hadn't seen in a year. I had a blast!
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