One of many things these Benedictines are great at is making you feel like you are one of them. You are a part of the monastery and a part of their family, whether it's for one week or one year. As each week passes by, it becomes a stronger, more present feeling. It makes me wonder, what will I do 10 months from now?? Ok, ok, I'm thinking too far in advance. Present moments only :)
There are events here and there that really bring this feeling to life. This past weekend, Carrie and I were asked to carry the candle and incense for the vigil Saturday night. For me, this was a very big honor. Carrie carried the candle and I had the incense. I don't know who thought it would be a good idea to give this klutz a bowl with a burning brick of charcoal in it, but hey, I'm still here so I must have done something right!
I think this was the most nervous I have been since moving here. Speaking at my commitment, or during prayer was not as nerve-wracking as this was. When you're up there all by yourself in the middle of the community, you feel pretty exposed. One Sister told me earlier this week, "the day you stop being nervous is the day your heart is no longer in it." So true. But I made it through, and I'm all the better for it. And for those that have commented on how precise my footwork was, if you did not already know, I was a dancer for 15 years. It is innate, I don't even think about it. I couldn't change it even if I wanted to. But thank you for noticing :)
So thank you, Sisters, for allowing me to be a part of your lives and your prayer. I would never take back the decision to participate in this program. It is the best choice I could have made at this time in my life. I am enjoying every second of it, and learning so much from you. I just hope I am giving back even a little to you.
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