"The Sound of Silence"

Hmm...more song title references.

In the Benedicta Riepp program, each week I am given one day between Monday and Friday to use as a reflection day. Mine is every Thursday. During that day, I do not go to work, I do not have any deadlines to meet, per say, and I can just lay low. Throughout that day, I must feed my body, mind, and soul. Having one day to yourself is really a great thing, but I'll be honest, it's a long, long day, and finding something to fill all those hours with is difficult. At least for now.

The notion of a free day in the middle of the week is a new one for me. Being raised in a society where you are told that you must be doing something every second of the day, and then counteracting that by doing the exact opposite is kind of a shock to your system. Who has time to sit? To read? To pray? To do something YOU enjoy? To just be? Society's little mascot is just sitting on my shoulder, nagging me. "You're 22, life is just beginning, and right now your life should be 'go, go, GO', you will have time to sit and relax when you are retired." It's hard for me to brush it off and ignore it sometimes.

I like to be silent, don't get me wrong. I enjoy it, which may be a surprise to some out there because at times I don't know how to shut up. I talk too much and I talk too fast. But I like to be silent when I want to be, or when I personally need to be. So this is really proving to be a challenge, and we're only finishing week 3...I'm here through August. Yikes! What if this particular Thursday, I want to talk? It's a growing process, I keep reminding myself. Sisters are here to help, and I need to remember that, too. Stop being so stubborn and just ask.

I overthink things, rush the days, worry too much about tomorrow and not enough about the present moment. I am forever a work in progress. I am human.